{ Ira Glass on Storytelling on Vimeo }

I first saw this video years ago and I've seen it multiple times since. Tonight, I stumbled upon it again and it still strikes me with such impact. I always need to hear this, over and over again.

I'll be honest. My will for creativity has been weak lately. I'm often afraid. The resistance is real. I've been so reluctant to touch music these past couple months because I'm turned off. I haven't been able to make anything I like—the few songs that I tried to work on sound second rate—so I get frustrated and then I feel defeated. I'm also trying to switch to Ableton (another DAW: digital audio workstation), so I have to start from scratch again and learn a new software. The thought of starting over is so daunting that it paralyzes me, even though it's my choice (the same way that learning a new language is daunting, even if I seriously want to learn it).

I know in theory I should be fighting this resistance with action; I should be creating as much as I can, regardless of how I feel about the result, as Ira Glass says. But I guess I've been taking the easy way out and avoiding it all; letting resistance get the best of me and blaming it on excuses like work, side projects, and my social life. I just keep putting it off, though deep down I know I still want it. I want to make a comeback; I want to prove to myself that I can do it, that I can create great work. It's a constant battle. I'm taking each day as it comes. I used to feel like I was falling behind, but now I've come to accept my pace and not judge myself. I forgive myself for yesterday; I will be better tomorrow. Slowly, I will condition my will to fight fear and resistance until I am strong again.

{ too relevant: the war }